jymdyer

"Name a Supreme Court Case" Meme

2008-10-03T01:33:20Z

=v= I am loath to give much attention to somebody who is, after all, deliberately intended to be a distraction. But what with the spectacle of tonight's veep debate, I don't suppose I'll be adding much in the way of publicity by participating in this "Sarah Palin Meme." I quote:

As was demonstrated in an interview with Katie Couric, Sarah Palin is unable to name any Supreme Court Case other than Roe v. Wade.

The Rules: Post info about ONE Supreme Court decision, modern or historic, to your lj. (Any decision, as long as it's not Roe v. Wade.) For those who see this on your f-list, take the meme to your OWN lj to spread the fun.

I know of a bunch, but there's one that's extremely relevant, given context: Bush v. Gore (2000).

The Big Three-Oh

2008-09-23T17:02:38Z

=v= Today is my birthday. It's a significant one for geeks: the big 0x30.

Just think, if we were really old-fashioned and doing octal, I'd be 060.

Catsitting Z.

2008-09-05T06:51:27Z

=v= Zahra is not to be confused with zahraa.

I don't think this candidate's values match mine ...

2008-08-24T17:18:09Z

=v= Here's the lead paragraph from a New York Times story that ran yesterday:

Senator John McCain publicly reacted Saturday to the news that his good friend, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., would be on the Democratic ticket with his now daily vacation ritual: going for a morning coffee run with his six-car motorcade to Starbucks and saying not a word.

I wonder if he knows how many Starbucks franchises are within motorcading distance of his seven or so houses?

Mosaic Maker Meme

2008-06-29T05:53:58Z

=v= "This takes a little more work than most, but it was an interesting exercise."

Instructions: Type your answers to each of the questions below into flickr Search. Using only the first page, pick an image. Copy and paste each of the URLs into the Mosaic Maker

The questions:

What is your first name?
What is your favorite food?
What high school did you go to?
What is your favorite color?
Who is your celebrity crush?
Favorite drink?
Dream vacation?
Favorite dessert?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you love most in life?
One word to describe you.
Your LJ name.

The results:

The credits: 1. Jym, 2. farro, 3. Sewickley Academy, 4. green, 5. Yulia_Tymoshenko, 6. coffee, 7. Paris, 8. oral sex, 9. ruler, 10. love, 11. funny 12. Jym Dyer.

59 Questions Meme

2008-06-01T22:17:24Z

[Ganked from r_wolfcastle and Others]

59 Questions. Why 59 rather than, say, 60? I don't know.

What is your middle name? · Curious.
What color is your mailbox? · Bamboo.
Are you available? · Have your people call my people.
Have you ever hit a deer? · Never, though I would possibly, involuntarily, say "d'oh!" if I did.
Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home? · I bike over one.
Are you taller than your mom? · Yes.
What curse do you say the most when you're pissed? · Most curse-worthy situations involve motorists, so I find myself saying "dipshit" a lot.
Are you God? · Only to my creations.
What do you do to get over a broken heart? · I haven't figured that out yet.
Do you enjoy writing in colored pens? · The pens they put us in weren't very colorful, nor did they give us anything to write with.
Does anything hurt on your body right now? · Sunburn.
Do you often cry during a movie? · Depends on the movie. Eternal Sunshine had me in tears. See #9, above.
Last text message you received? · An enquiry about coming to visit.
Who sent it? · My sister.
Do you hate your life? · Sometimes when I'm frustrated I say "I hate my life," but I don't mean it.
Do you get mad easily? · What are you trying to imply? Huh? Huh?
Do you drink? · Only the best.
What is your biggest pet peeve? · When irresponsibility and injustice wrap up into a Gordian Knot.
Are you cold? · I'm generally too hot for my own good.
Do any of your friends have kids? · Yes, including the ones who run a goat farm.
Who should pay on the first date? · "From each according to ability, to each according to need" (yet somehow I've never dated a Marxist).
How many years older than you are you willing to date? · Two words: Catherine Deneuve.
Do you have any friends? · You can deduce that from my answer to question #20?
Do you have any mean friends? · No. Life's too short.
What is the ugliest color in your opinion? · "Colors are nothing more than bands on the electromagnetic spectrum. It would be purely arbitrary to assign greater value to one than to another ... Of course, there are a few shades of ostrich-dropping yellow that make me gag!" -- IM4U
Have you ever dated someone who all your friends couldn't stand? · Many, perhaps, but never all.
Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff, seriously? · I have very strongly felt like not driving off a cliff.
Have you ever contemplated suicide? · Contemplated, yes, invariably reaching the conclusion that it's not a good idea.
Do you scratch your ears? · Only when they itch.
Who was the last person to hug you? · Leo Buscaglia.
What brand are the pants/jeans you're wearing right now? · Arborwear.
How tall are you? · 6'0"
What is the closest green object? · Everything.
What is on your feet? · 0ld Sk00l Smartw00l.
If you were born the opposite sex, what would your parents name you? · My mom wanted to name me Jamie. This would cause confusion because, if I was born the opposite sex, I would totally try to woo another Jamie.
If you could go back to any time period when would it be? · The first performance of Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
Do you want to have kids? · Yes, but what's that ticking sound?
What is your favorite color? · See answer to #33 (not #25).
Who is the friend you have that you would never have? · Any one of the guys.
Who do you hate the most right now? · People who don't know when to use the word "whom."
What's your mother's middle name? · Catherine (no relation).
What kind of car do you want? · Well, since I'd only use it to plant a garden in, something that could hold a lot of soil.
What is your favorite video game? · Q*bert.
Do you like your dad? · I don't really know him. I don't like much of what he's done, but I never directed strong feelings towards him about it.
Do you have any TV shows on DVD? · Only if Matt Groening is involved in them.
Are you wearing make up? · Only when clowning.
Do you have a tattoo? · Sometimes I get one when I bike. Ritual scarrification, too!
Have you ever broken a piñata? · Yes.
What time is it right now? · TIME'S UP!
Do you know how to draw? · You tell me (look to the right).
Who loves orange soda? · People who don't live in the pop belt.
Who is your hero? · Amongst the living, Nelson Mandela.
Who did you last IM? · The Mgt.
Do you work a lot of hours? · Yes.
Where were you 24 hours ago? · Waiting for Muni.
Who was the last person that called you? · The guy living downstairs.
Is there anything you regret? · Conveniently enough, my regrets come in 57 varieties.
Do you know where your family name originated from? · It's said to be an anglicized version of a surname from Hannover.
Animal that creeps you out? · Peskier insects get under my skin.

"The number of words shall be three ..."

2008-05-23T02:26:53Z

[Ganked from urlthepinkbear]

"You have to use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It's harder than you think."

Where is your cell phone? · Call to locate.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend/hubby? · Trouble in triplicate.
Your hair? · Abducted by aliens.
Where is your father? · Abducted by alcohol.
Your favorite thing to do? · There are several.
Your dream last night? · Did favorite thing.
Your favorite drink? · Blue Bottle espresso.
Your dream car? · Unicorns in Xanadu.
The room you're in? · Habitrail cubicle farm.
Your fears? · Fewer than before.
Who did you hang out with last night? · "Whom," she'd correct.
What aren't you good at? · Trusting the authorities.
Muffins? · Croissants have advantages.
One of your wish list items? · Bamboo folding bicycle.
The last thing you did? · Fired up browser.
What are you wearing? · Yards of cotton.
Your pet? · On the lam.
Your computer? · Uses less energy.
Your life? · Mikey likes it.
Your mood? · Room for improvement.
Missing? · Chips from incisors.
What are you thinking about right now? · Three-word answers.
Your car? · Crushed, years ago.
Your work? · Keeps me busy.
Your summer? · Not this month.
Your relationship status? · See answer #20.
Your favorite color(s)? · Roy G. Biv.
When is the last time you laughed? · Recently; absurdity reigns.
Last time you cried? · Van Gogh's fault.
School? · Learning never ends.

States Meme

2007-12-04T06:26:50Z

[Yet another one ganked from andybeals]

Bold where you've visited, underline where you've lived, italicize where you live now.

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C.

(For these purposes, the District of Columbia is counted as a state.)

My St*rbuck$ Order

2007-08-11T18:00:15Z

=v= This is kinda one of those silly web quizzes (though not really set up to embed in blog entries):

What Your Starbucks Order Says About You

Basically you go to The Oracle of Starbucks, order a drink, and it insults you. Here's what I ended up with:

Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "begone demons of the cash register" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves.

I got pretty much the same response when I attempted to order an affogato or a doppio ristretto, which are two more reasons not to go to Starbucks.

Quiz

2007-05-28T00:53:02Z

[Ganked from a coupla redheads.]

ONLY USE ONE WORD TO ANSWER:

Where is your cell phone? · Bag
Your boyfriend/girlfriend? · Hermaphrodite
Your hair? · Lower
Your mother? · Missed
Your father? · Drunk
Your favorite thing? · Love
Your dream last night? · Sex
Your favorite drink? · Mocha
Your school? · Knocks
The room you're in? · Cold
Your fear? · Void
Where were you last night? · Italian
What you're not? · Follower
Muffins? · Muffy
One of your wish list items? · Fulfillment
Where you grew up? · Pittsburgh
The last thing you did? · Conversed
What are you wearing? · Socks
Your TV? · None
Your pet or pets? · Departed
Your computer? · Ubuntu
Your life? · Frustrating
Your mood? · Frustrated
Missing someone? · Yes
Your work? · Boundless
Like someone? · "Like?"
Your favorite color? · Green! No! Blue! Aiiee!!!
When is the last time you laughed? · Noonish
Your best friend? · Eddie
The person who posted this? · Plural

I simply must add that I am duly chagrined by the fact that, despite being without TV for years, "Your best friend?" made me think of the theme song to The Courtship of Eddie's Father, a show I never watched.

Least Surprising Web Quiz Result Ever

2007-05-09T04:08:01Z

I am:
0%
Republican.

"You're a complete liberal [not the word I'd use --Jym], utterly without a trace of Republicanism. Your strength is as the strength of ten because your heart is pure. (You hope.)"

Are You A Republican?

Spontaneous Quiz

2007-03-24T07:25:06Z

[Another one ganked from andybeals]

=v= Reputed to be "40 of the MOST Spontaneous Questions Ever, BE HONEST." So I'm gonna post the first draft, FWIW.

=1= Where were you 1 hour ago?
On my bike, rolling slowly past the treefrogs.

=2= Who will be your next kiss?
Unless a macap series of After Hours-type events takes place in the next half hour or so, I'm gonna kiss the landlady goodnight.

=3= Do you kiss a lot of people?
My middle name is Georgie Porgie.

=4= Are you wearing socks right now?
Of course not. Otherwise, would I be able to type this with my toes? BE HONEST.

=5= When was the last time you went out of state?
August.

=6= Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
It's all been downhill since Borat. Why bother?

=7= What was the last thing you had to drink?
Two glasses of Domaine du Vieux Télégraphe, 1999 vintage.

=8= What are you wearing right now?
Why do these quizzes always get around to phone sex? I'm nekkid as a jaybird.

=9= What was your last purchase?
What Would Jesus Buy? by Reverend Billy

=10= Last food you ate?
Potatoes and leeks.

=11= Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
shadowsmark

=12= Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
No, but I got an awesome shirt the week before!

=13= Do you have a pet?
Obviously, my avatar does.

=14= Do you pray for rain?
I've never needed it that much.

=15= Are you a Pirate?
Arrrr, we've been over this already. We prefer to be called Buccaneer-Americans.

(Wait, I just noticed the capital P. If you're asking whether I'm part of a major-league baseball team in Pittsburgh or a minor-league baseball team in Nashua, the answer is no.)

=16= If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
Deep in a forest (with my duff on the duff).

=17= What is the last thing you purchased online?
I renewed an Internet domain.

=18= One thing you hate about yourself
I overwhelm myself with too much to do.

=19= What's your favorite soup?
Pozole.

=20= Do you miss anyone?
Many ones.

=21= Last movie you saw?
Jean Renoir's The Rules of the Game.

=22= What are your plans for the day?
If you mean tomorrow, ask after I've had my coffee.

[Question =23= is missing! So the answer is, "maybe."]

=24= Are you excited about seeing anyone today?
Generally.

=25= Were you an honor roll student in school?
Yep.

=26= What do you know about the future?
I have gotten pretty good at predicting certain things, but I don't know anything about the future.

=27= What is your favorite scent?
Her.

=28= What is your all time favorite band?
I used to be really concerned with figuring out which was my favorite, who was ranked 2nd, 3rd, etc. I found it more limiting than enlightening, so I gave up on it.

=29= Do you have a tan?
I had two tan ovals on the back of my hands last summer, courtesy of my bike gloves.

=30= How old do you want to be when you have kids?
Younger than I am now. Which presents a problem.

=31= Last person who made you cry?
Someone who died.

=32= Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
In one ear (but not out the other).

=33= Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Yep.

=34= How do you like your soda?
Italian.

=35= Do you like hot sauce?
Only in the hot months.

=36= Next time you'll take a shower?
If I had a waterproof laptop, I'd be taking one right now!

=37= What is your mood?
See below (or, possibly, above).

=38= Are you someone’s best friend?
Yes.

=39= What did you want for Valentine's Day?
See answer to #27.

=40= What are you doing right now?
Trying to find a polite way to explain that that's the stupidest question in the list. Except maybe #23.

Earthsea First!

2007-01-29T21:19:21Z

I am:

Ursula K. LeGuin

Perhaps the most admired writing talent in the science fiction field.

Which science fiction writer are you?

What Kind of Hippie Am I?

2006-11-07T08:54:12Z

[Ganked from that part of the cosmos calling itself andybeals]

=v= Neopagan is okay, but most who know me would've guessed Treehugger. Judging from a number of friends who took this quiz, I think it misses the mark quite a bit, even by the low standards of silly online quizzes. Bummer.

Neopagan
You are 50% experimental, 81% feral, 54% spiritual, and 0% square!

Congratulations! You're a Neopagan. Well, maybe you're not precisely a pagan, but you have a deep love for primitive nature, and a strong sense of the spiritual. You feel the beauty of the wild around you [True. --Jym] and feel choked in the city [Not! --Jym].

The hippie world needs you, because you bring together the beauty of the wild and the magic of the heart.

If you believe that opposites attract, you probably find yourself around Ravers [N! --J]. If you are more inclined to enjoy the company of those with similar attitudes, then other Neopagans, as well as the Faerie-child, Treehugger, and Full-blown Hippie are for you.

The other categories are Alternate, Mystic, Feral and of course, the Non-hippie

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on experimental
You scored higher than 99% on feral
You scored higher than 99% on spiritual
You scored higher than 99% on non-hippie

Link: The "What kind of hippie are you?" Test.

The Checklist

2006-09-04T17:40:14Z

[Ganked from Ron and then Chris]

=v= Boldly go where you've gone before.

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink (See #51)
2. Swum with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive (No, but Mercedes and Jaguar don't count? Branding sucks. Cars suck, too)
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone (Waxed nostalgic about it, too)
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (See #51)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg (No, unless iceberg lettuce counts)
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day (No, but some friends and I spoke German amongst alarmed Marin County denizens for much of a day)
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was wasted
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe (Rucksacked and pannier-packed, more like)
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow (No, but I've milked a goat, some nuts, and a story)
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers (It's easier than posing nude in front of friends!)
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain (Wot? No "Kissed in the mud?")
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days (Housing, yes. Food, no.)
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo (No, unless you count the chainring kind)
81. Rafted the Snake River - or was it the Colorado River? (South Fork of the American River. Yes, I'm plagiarizing Chris but it's true!)
82. Been on television news programs as an expert (As a nukular expert, even!)
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music (On cassette. Broadcast, but not saleable)
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu (pufferfish)
89. Had a one-night stand (With the noblest of intentions: I thought it'd be at least a two-night stand)
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house
92. Been in a combat zone (No, but I bought rap records in the Bronx back in the '80s)
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship
95. Spoken more than one language fluently
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show
97. Raised children (No, part-time and part-way doesn't count)
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour (I hoped to be a groupie, but I was just a roadie)
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking (I've also done this in a train car, but usually when I do this I'm not in any type of car at all)
103. Had plastic surgery (No, though I suspect my cheap failed dental work might've been made of plastic)
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived (The term "accident" isn't appropriate for deciding to behave negligently)
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray (Steve Irwin, R.I.P.)
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth (Not for lack of trying)
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced (Not intentionally, at least)
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery (Not unless an inguinal hernia is "major")
120. Had a snake as a pet (No, because I don't own a plane to keep one in)
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach (No, I don't think it's "petting" if you're using blunt objects)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read something they wrote
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (One of the many things that turned me vegetarian)
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language (It was called FOUR and all the keywords were the same length, so it looked really cool)
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream (If this means actual sleeptime dreaming, heavy bouts of déjà vu seem to have "happened before" in dreams)
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you (Though it was just an illustrated autograph)
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair (To match my eyes)
147. Been a DJ (WJUL, Lowell, 91.5)
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident (Not an "accident" per se)
150. Saved someone’s life

Arr! Avast! And so on and so forth.

2006-07-08T07:34:53Z

[Ganked from andybeals]

Your LiveJournal Pirate Crew
LiveJournal Username
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
Cutlass or pistol?
What is the name of your pirate ship?
Where is your secret pirate base?
What kind of loot do you prefer?
What do you and your crew prefer to be called?
Parrot or monkey?
Argh!

Your capable first mate	shadowsmark
Your bumbling cabin boy with a heart of gold	bobsecy
The aloof, yet honorable, pirate with a mysterious past	generalist
Is always the first one into the fray	cosmiquemuffin
Is the naval officer who ruthlessly pursues your ship	rmd
Is the comical pirate who is always drunk on grog	lyonesse
Is currently in Davy Jones's locker	zyxwvut
The amount of money you make as a pirate	$143,755


This Fun Quiz created by Lynn at BlogQuiz.Net

Survey Says ...

2006-05-29T23:20:32Z

[As seen in lyonesse's Journal.]

1) Something you have an unreasonable fear of (could be several things)
=1= Harm coming to loved ones.

2) Something that gives you great joy
=2= The letters E, L, O, and V spell two words that qualify.

3) Something familiar you are drawn to in spite of zero information or contact ... an animal, a place, a sort of person, a culture you cannot help but be drawn to in spite of the lack of knowledge, you JUST KNOW
=3= Druids

4) Comfort food when you are down
=4= Some flavorful whole-grain pasta (buckwheat, farro, etc.)

1. What does your Livejournal name mean?
=1= I'm #1! I'm #1! (Seriously, what's with this numbering scheme?)

2. Elaborate on your default icon?
=2= It shows one aspect of my relationship with my familiar.

5. What EXACTLY are you wearing right now?
=5= Nothing.

6. Are you musically inclined?
=6= I've played instruments, but have only developed to a certain point, then hit a wall. Which is hard on the instrument.

7. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
=7= In my life, a certain pivotal bad turn in a relationship. Dunno whether it would help, but one has to try. Otherwise, I'd have to figure out something that would promote world peace.

8. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?
=8= A bird, preferably a corvid.

9. Ever have a near death experience?
=9= No.

10. Name an obvious quality you have.
=10= Sense of humor.

11. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
=11= The Proclaimers, 500 Miles

12. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
=12= Ask me again when the statute of limitations runs out.

13. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
=13= The largest such audience was in middle school: parents, students, and faculty.

14. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
=14= There's no one first thing. It could be anything.

15. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
=15= I order the demons to be cast out of the cash register, in blatant imitation of Reverend Billy.

16. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
=16= In my younger days, Billy Idol or David Bowie. These days I can only capitalize on my own fame.

17. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
=17= Yes, with kids.

18. Did you have braces?
=18= No, and I do have crooked teeth.

19. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
=19= I can think of a few things, but to rate them and pick one would be ... unromantic of me.

20) A moment in time where life stood still and you knew the next moments were going to have one hellava impact on your life.
=20= Sex with someone for the first time.

The "Great" Meme of '06

2006-03-26T00:15:44Z

[As seen in shadowsmark's Journal]

=v= A bunch of questions masquerading as The Great Meme of '06. I hope my answers are "great" enough.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought of?
=1= My hat's on crooked.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
=2= One mill-y-on dollars. Oh, wait, that's some other bald guy.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?
=3= "Poor."

4. Favorite planet?
=4= Terra (the same planet under attack by the Shrub's "war on Terra").

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile phone?
=5= I delete all such data every 5 minutes just to foil Homeland Security, so I forget.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
=6= Vibrate, baby!

7. What shirt are you wearing?
=7= A Global Cooling Collective hoodie with a long-sleeve New York City Critical Mass T-shirt underneath.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
=8= Do I look like a Mall*Wart product made in offshore sweatshops?

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
=9= Ecco, though I wish they were Mephistos.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
=10= Bright.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
=11= She's the bees' knees.

12. WHERE THE HECK IS QUESTION #12?
=12= I guess we'll just skip on ahead to Lucky #13.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
=13= Riding on public transit with the caretaker of the partner of a civil-rights pioneer.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile phone say?
=14= I don't remember the exact words, but something like, "Arrest at Times Square. Smolka himself writing the ticket."

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
=15= The thing is, my credit union just let me know that they cut a deal to allow us to use ATMs at 7-11 with no surcharge. This led to the (happy) realization that San Francisco is not as cluttered with that store as other places are, because I had no clue where to find one. I looked in the phone book and saw a few of them listed there, and remember that one is at 711 Market Street, but I don't think that's the nearest one.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
=16= "D'oh!"

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
=17= My brother Tony.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
=18= Pubic hair.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
=19= Unless we're counting coffee and chocolate, I'm gonna have to go with wine, women, and Internet.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
=20= I went all-digital after my 35mm camera was burglarized. I think there was a roll in that camera, so if the police ever solve that crime, 1 roll.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
=21= My best years were 1984, 1990, and 1999, so whatever I was then.

22. Your worst fear?
=22= Nonbeing.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
=23= The clownfish photo that comes with MacOS (copied onto my ubuntu laptop).

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
=24= "I'm going to use the bigger wrench."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
=25= Flying. It would be like biking except without the flat tires, and I could make at least a million with it (unlike Dr. Evil).

26. WHERE THE HECK IS QUESTION #26?
=26= And they call this "great?"

27. The last song you listened to?
=27= Sam Cooke, "Wonderful World."

Avatar Explained

2006-03-06T07:08:15Z

=v= A few people have asked what the head scratches on my first avatar are all about. Perhaps this spiffy new avatar will explain it.

Kermit the Frog Here ...

2006-02-14T09:59:42Z

[As seen in generalist's Journal]

=v= Which Muppet Are You? Unsurprisingly, I'm Kermit: I'm green, I look pretty animated on a bicycle ("gone with the Schwinn"), I avoid pork products, and I can even do a pretty good Kermit voice!

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

Tragic events unfolded during the Super Bowl, though, where we learned that the real Kermit was kidnapped while riding his bicycle and forced to greenwash SUVs. Free Kermit!

My Letter to Santa

2005-12-08T08:42:28Z

Dear Santa...

=v= This year I've been busy!

In April on a flight to Vancouver, I helped tsennyipa see the light (8 points). Last Tuesday I bought porn for cat_herder (10 points). Last week I stole lyonesse's purse (-30 points). In October I gave jikme a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). In May cosmiquemuffin and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points).

Overall, I've been nice (49 points). For Christmas I deserve a new bike!

Sincerely,
<_Jym_>

Or ... write your letter to Satanta!

I Like Bikes and Underground Comix

2005-10-30T06:20:05Z

=v= Which Peanuts Character are You? I seem to be Rerun:

Rerun was my favorite character in the final years of the strip, so this makes me happy.

Snapshot

2005-09-24T06:58:03Z

=v= September 23rd is my birthday. To mark the occasion, I took a photo of what my bathroom mirror sees. My age: this is my 2nd consecutive year of being a person of caliber.

File Extension Meme

2005-09-14T15:19:09Z

=v= Which File Extension Are You? I seem to be:

I guess it's the most accurate of the available choices, but surely I ought to be a.out instead of something from DOS. (Well, it could be a VMS executable, but that would be .EXE.)

Truth or Dare Meme

2005-08-22T05:14:02Z

[As seen in shadowsmark's Journal]

=v= The rules are (1) Go here and (2) Pass it on, but "here" gave me some sort of "bandwidth exceeded" message. So I copied the quiz and my Friends list into Emacs, threw some Lisp at it to randomize stuff, and here it is.

1.~How did you meet cosmiquemuffin?

I dug her email. At a party in California, which of course involved a hottub, there was a "no nudity until midnight" policy. I pled jetlag and invoked Eastern Standard Time. So there I was soaking with other jetlagged nudists when somebody told me cosmiquemuffin and r_wolfcastle were leaving the party, so I hopped out and introduced myself. (Don't worry, I was a hoopy frood.)

2.~What would you do if you had never met galfromdownunda?

She's a goddess, so if she did not exist, we would have to create her.

3.~What do you honestly think of zahraa?

I have very warm feelings, which is pretty special considering how little time I've spent with her over the years!

4.~Would or did tsennyipa and jikme go out?

I heard a rumor that they met in a chatroom and then ran off into the mountains together.

5.~Have you ever liked cat_herder?

Right from the moment she expressed tender loving care towards Ralph, my spider plant.

6.~If r_wolfcastle died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know?

Interesting question, since he starred in the movie Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die. What I need him to know is that I don't really think he made up "popeye mullet."

7.~Would r_wolfcastle and cosmiquemuffin make a good couple?

Okay, so now I'm freaking out and wondering what's going on with Emacs' (random) function, which seems to know how to match people up better than eHarmony.

8.~Describe cat_herder in 3 words:

Doesn't deserve peeves.

9.~Do you think zyxwvut is hot?

According to weather.com, I'm 21°F hotter right now!

10.~Would tsennyipa and lyonesse make a lovely couple?

Both have surprised me in the past, so I can't say.

11.~What do you think of when you see shadowsmark?

Cherries and hot, hot wickets.

12.~Tell me something humiliating about tsennyipa:

Well, you see, here's the thing ... we had a very hard time thinking up humiliating things to roast him with at his wedding rehearsal dinner. All the stories we knew were like after-school specials, in which we all learned Something Valuable About Ourselves while he came out looking better than us. The bum.

13.~Do you know any of cosmiquemuffin's family members?

Indeed I do, and we're going out clowning on Tuesday!

14.~What's zyxwvut's favorite color?

I dunno, but he does use a lot of green in his LJ customization.

15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is jikme?

Spinal Tap cute. By which I mean, "This one goes up to 11."

16.~What would you do if zahraa professed their undying love for you?

We'd have to have the "we hardly know each other" talk, but not the "let's just be friends" talk.

17.~What language does shadowsmark speak?

"Ze international language" (as per Better Off Dead). I think that's Latin.

18.~Who is zahraa going out with?

zyxwvut

19.~Is lyonesse a boy or a girl?

Yes. And how!

20.~Would galfromdownunda and r_wolfcastle make a good couple?

Well, I think they both like titanium ...

21.~Who do you think lyonesse would be great with from this list?

How do I get on my own friends list?

22.~When was the last time you talked to galfromdownunda?

In person, April 30th. By email, August 4th.

23.~What is cosmiquemuffin's favorite band?

I dunno. The Van Allen Belt?

24.~Does zyxwvut have any siblings?

I dunno. The Van Allen Belt?

25.~Would you ever date r_wolfcastle?

I don't go for married men, no matter how dashing and suave they are.

26.~Would you ever date tsennyipa?

I don't got for married men, no matter what the Polaroids show.

27.~Is zahraa single?

There's only one of her, but she does have at least one husband (that I know of).

28.~What is jikme's last name?

She keeps changing it, but it's always something nifty.

29.~What is galfromdownunda's middle name?

It must be either "from" or "down," right?

30.~What is cat_herder's fantasy?

I suspect it involves jet cars.

31.~Where does cat_herder live?

Berserkeley.

32.~Would you make out with lyonesse?

I think Fang would choke me if I tried.

33.~Are shadowsmark and jikme best friends?

I dunno about the best part, but they are friends.

34.~Does zyxwvut like galfromdownunda?

I believe he would.

35.~How did you meet shadowsmark?

I dug her email. Then she visited "The City" and I showed her some tales thereof. Then we wrote some of our own.

36.~Is zyxwvut the sexiest person alive?

We'd have to survey a stratified sample of all his lovers, ranked by age, race, sex, and economic class. Science will thus provide an answer to this question.